What would be in your Brexit hamper?

PUBLISHED: 06:30 12 January 2018

Torn EU flag representing Brexit. Picture: Getty/Claudiodivizia.

Torn EU flag representing Brexit. Picture: Getty/Claudiodivizia.

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For this week’s podcast we asked you what you’d put in a hamper that truly represented Brexit.

Prominent Brexiters received much ridicule on Twitter this week with the news that they were taking a hamper of British goodies to gift EU chief Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier.

In the hamper were delicacies including British gin, cheese, marmalade, Marmite and PG Tips tea as well as the complete works of William Shakespeare and a biography of Sir Winston Churchill.

Critics were quick to point out, however, that both Marmite and PG Tips are owned by Anglo-Dutch company Unilever, which has expressed reservations about Brexit. The Dorset Hundred Dram cheddar was also protected by an EU regional designation while the marmalade jar bore an EU organic logo. Meanwhile a director of the company that manufactured the gin had previously spoken out against the “unwelcome uncertainity” of Brexit.

With that PR disaster in mind we asked our followers on Facebook and Twitter to come up with ideas for an alternative hamper which really represented Brexit. They did not disappoint.

Here are just some of the suggestions we received:

Sean Kennedy: A cake that can be both had and eaten.

Mel Melvin: Chocolate teapot

Deborah Griffith: A pint glass (made in France) with a crown on it and a blue passport (printed in Germany)

Chris Bish: A bottle of “Camp” coffee. Low quality, outdated, not really coffee, with a picture on the label that is more than a little racist and recalls an empire that is long gone.

Keith Dodgeon: Some delicious chlorinated chicken sandwiches, prime, hormone - enhanced American beef pie

David Scott: Food left to rot in fields because we’ll lose the workforce to harvest it

Katie Joy Privett: A blue passport, a Victorian costume, a hand book on how to fill in visas, a handful of shillings, Rupert Murdoch’s autobiography, a mask of Nigel Farage and a membership to Britain first.

Bev Brown: A red, white and blue banana. Or was it a strong and stable banana? I get confused.

Bronson Hankins: A sneaky note with “HELP US” written on it.

Mark Elliott: An apology letter

Steve Gowtridge: A pig’s ear

Mark Palmer: A simply enormous turkey, for starters.

Guy Pratt: Wetherspoons beer mat.

Chris Kendall: Chips... served on a shoulder.

Skin My Sunshine: Mac and cheese - the meal that propped up a lot of families in the US during The Great Depression

Jon Savage: Sandwich spread, spam, Vesta curry

Naomi Martin: Turnips. I don’t think Brexiteers have ever thought about how much hard work it will be to cook with just British grown fruit & veg.

Dave Hunslow: Humble pie

The final word goes to Terry Fesenko who suggests an empty hamper “because Brexit is just a lot of hot air and empty promises!”

• Hear more suggestions on The New European podcast - available every Friday. Subscribe here to receive the latest episodes for free on iTunes and podcast players.

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