16 Brexit Christmas cracker jokes that will make or break your Xmas lunch
- Credit: Archant
Enliven your Christmas dinner by cutting out our Brexit-themed jokes and inserting them in crackers for your Leave-supporting relatives
Why was Nigel Farage's Christmas lunch so crap?
He banned brussels and there was no turkey despite Nigel insisting it would be admitted to the table any minute now
How many Leave voters does it take to change a lightbulb?
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One to remove the bulb and 17,410,741 to sit in the darkness and tell everyone else to get over themselves
- 1 Brexiteer Prue Leith quits Tory Party after government votes down motion to protect UK food standards
- 2 Public slams Brexit Party tweet which shames Tory MPs who voted against free school meals
- 3 Brexit shambles: A stress of our own making
- 4 Group in protest against Tory MPs who voted down free school meals targets offices with empty plates
- 5 Tory minister blames journalists for NHS Test and Trace failure as he defends Dido Harding
- 6 Priti Patel set to hand private firms £28 million in government contracts to deport asylum seekers from UK
- 7 Michel Barnier postpones Brussels return as Brexit trade talks in London continue
- 8 These are the 322 Tory MPs who voted against extending free school meals to children
- 9 Betty Boothroyd delivers scathing assessment of Boris Johnson's government
- 10 Boris Johnson and Priti Patel urged to end 'attacks' on lawyers in letter by 800 legal professionals
Why didn't Boris Johnson's children get any Christmas presents?
He told them he was broke after giving £350million a week to the NHS
Why is Nigel Farage banned from Father Christmas's workshop?
Because smoking can seriously damage your elf
Why was the UKIP nativity play cancelled?
They couldn't find three wise men
Why doesn't Father Christmas vote UKIP?
He's not irrationally worried about living close to a Pole
Why will Air Force One smell awful in 2017?
Because there will be a nasty Trump in the air
Why did the UKIP voter have no presents?
He sent them all back to where they came from
What does Theresa May shout while her husband is cooking the turkey?
'Baste it means baste it'
Nigel Farage, Raheem Kaseem and Arron Banks walk into a bar..
…Everyone else leaves.
Which Santa do Brexiteers hate?
How many Tory MPs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - they're too busy screwing the country
Why did Boris Johnson cross the road?
For personal political gain after giving David Cameron assurances that he wouldn't go to the other side
How do you stop Leave-voting relatives hogging the TV at Christmas?
Take back the remote control
What newspaper is forecasting Britain will be swamped by mass immigration by elves?
The Polar Express
What is Boris Johnson's least-favourite Christmas film?
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