Critics of the PM must stop calling him ‘Boris’ and find him a new nickname
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After Boris Johnson's latest fibs about kippers, one reader urges critics of the prime minister to find a new nickname for him.
Watching Boris Johnson brandish a kipper on TV the other day, then unjustly blame the EU for its costly plastic packaging, I just shook my head in disbelief. Why should Johnson get away with yet another lie, even worse, succeed in further strengthening anti-EU prejudice?
Surely it would only be fair to help the public remember the truth this time, wouldn't it? Maybe a memorable nickname could be invented for him, as a suitable replacement for the over-cuddly 'Boris'?
How about 'Kipper Fibber'? Wouldn't this be ideal to symbolise his lifetime of lies? As well as perfect for chanting?
Can I invite everyone to freely use this nickname from now on, not just in the privacy of their homes, but whenever he makes a public appearance?
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Following the example of the Brexit Party MEPs in turning their backs so that the orifice through which they speak was closer to the microphone, should the new PM not now adopt the same position and turn his back on the opposition?
I first encountered Boris Johnson in the early 1990s when he was called Alex. He was then working for the Daily Telegraph, in Brussels. He used to come in to the European School, where I taught, to socialise with his former teachers. In 1973, his father Stanley had been appointed as the head of the prevention of pollution division at the European Commission. Stanley brought his wife and four children, Alex, Rachel, Jo and Leo with him to Brussels. Alex and Rachel were enrolled at the European School in Uccle, in southern Brussels.
His teachers at that time told me that Alex was a clever boy but had problems with his hearing. When he didn't hear what the others were saying, he decided to wing it by saying something crazy, which made everyone laugh.
When asked what job he would like to do, he said he wanted to be World King. As a boy he was hugely disorganised.
In September 1975, the children were sent to Ashdown House, a preparatory boarding school in East Sussex.
If we want to understand Boris Johnson's euroscepticism, we need to go back to those two years in Brussels. That, I believe, is where his dislike of the EEC began.
I recently invited Steve Barclay (my MP and the Brexit secretary) to visit my company and assist in filling out export forms that are required post-Brexit. He sent his assistant.
She knew very little about manufacturing or exporting and took the forms away to run past HMRC. About 10 days on, she sent me their response:
Dear Mr Barclay, sorry for the delay, we will respond soon!
She also suggested I might like to speak at a conference regarding the benefits of migrant workers!
Nigel Baker, Haddenham, Cambridgeshire
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