Brexiteers write poems to leaving the EU after getting offended that poet laureate won’t

Brexiteers have started writing poetry, after the poet laureate said he had no particular plans to commemorate Brexit in writing.

Simon Armitage hurt Brexiteers' feelings when he said he has already produced work, a "film poem", marking the previous Brexit date of March 29, and wasn't planning further Brexit poetry for October 31.

Sensitive Brexiteers such as the Rees-Mogg siblings and Daily Telegraph readers have risen to the moment, however, by penning some compositions of their own.

Jacob Rees-Mogg, whose own literary effort on the Victorians sold just 734 copies in its launch week, kicked them off with a jibe at the laureate himself.

"The Poet Laureate used to be paid in sherry / Which made him decidedly merry / Now he is paid in hard cash / Which makes him awfully slapdash / But when it comes to Brexit he needn't be wary?"

While his sister, Brexit Party MEP Annunziata Rees-Mogg followed this with a jab at Remainers:

"The British voted for Brexit / Remainers attempted to wreck it / But Leavers fought on / So soon we'll be gone / As we thrive on outside will they get it?"

Profound stuff. Not to be outshone, Brexit Party MEP Lance Forman wrote his own ditty:

"October 31st / Is when we burst / Out of the EU's grip / No ifs. No buts / No backstop cuts / We leave the sinking ship."

Remainers, however, couldn't allow the Brexiteers the sole pleasure of the literary arts, and soon chimed in with distinctly sarcastic responses.

Think you can do better? Show us your Brexit poem and we'll feature the most notable on the New European podcast - send to theneweuropean@archant.co.uk.