Video
The Great Brexit Christmas Song Book
What are the motivations for politician and broadcaster Nigel Farage? Photo: PA Wire/PA Images. - Credit: PA Wire/PA Images
STEVE ANGLESEY adapts a few Christmas classics for New European readers in the mood for a singalong. Altogether now...
(To the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)
Boris the Bare-Faced Liar
Had an ever-growing nose
Each time he told a porky
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Used to laugh and call him names
They didn't know old Boris
Doesn't have a sense of shame
(To the tune of Mistletoe And Wine)
Christmas time
Michael Gove still whines
Poor thing's married to Sarah Vine
Wants a Hard Brexit for you and for me
He makes us nostalgic for the old EEC
(To the tune of While Shepherds Watched)
While shepherds watched Liam Fox by night
Their jaws all hit the ground
The trade he'd told us would be free
Cost 39 billion pound
(To the tune of Winter Wonderland)
Nigel here
Are you listening?
All Remoaners
Are quislings
Although I talk shite
I've done quite alright
Walking in a Farage wonderland
Gone away, is the EU herd
Here to stay, is my new bird
I'll sing a love song,
As we go along
Walking in a Farage wonderland
In the meadow I will build a straw man
And pretend the Turks will come to town
It isn't really true but I'll say 'oh man
They'll take all your jobs
And make you frown'
Later on
I'll conspire
To throw sense
In the fire
You lot jump off a cliff
I'll be in the gold lift
Walking in a Farage wonderland
(To the tune of Deck The Halls)
Brexit? Balls, it's total folly
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Rees-Mogg is a complete wally
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Clad in his antique apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la!
Singing Latin Christmas carols
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
(To the tune of Merry Christmas Everyone)
Letters fallin'
All around me
Simon Brodkin
Having fun
And I'm coughing
Show some understanding
May's Christmas, everyone
(To the tune of Fairytale of New York)
It was Christmas Eve, babe
In the think tank
Steve Bannon said to me,
'Trump is the chosen one'
And then he sang a song
About the blacks and Jews
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you
He's got cars big as bars
He's got lifts made of gold
And he'll probably grope you
Unless you are old
When I shook off his hands
And attempted to leave
He promised me
Breitbart was waiting for me
He's not handsome
Not pretty
(but he's from New York City)
And when Mueller is finished
He'll howl out 'no more'
Michael Flynn is still singing
Of gifts Putin was bringing
They're going to corner
The entire alt-right
The boys of the FBI choir
Are singing 'time's up, chump'
And the cells are waiting now
For Donald Trump
(To the tune of Once In Royal David's City)
David Davis; what a pity
Credibility in shreds
Didn't have those Brexit papers
Turns out they were in his head
He claimed they did not exist
He must have been completely pissed
(To the tune of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas)
Have yourself a Jerry Corbyn Christmas
Let your heart be light
Keep your views on Brexit safely out of sight
Have yourself a Jerry Corbyn Christmas
Careful what you say
From now on, we'll agree with Theresa May
In five years we'll all be back in power
If the fates allow
So hang the Morning Star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a Jerry Corbyn Christmas now
(To the tune of Wonderful Christmas Time)
I walked on Mars
I won the Cup
Was a team captain
On Call My Bluff
Simply having a Paul Nuttall Christmas time
Simply having a Paul Nuttall Christmas time
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