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Brexfactor: Brexiteers are reaching out to the other side

PA Wire/PA Images - Credit: PA Wire/PA Images

We pick the worst Brexiteers of the week

Diane James

The MEP who led UKIP for 18 days – a grizzled veteran in Scaramucci terms – claimed the Bank of England are trying to subvert our departure from the EU. James tweeted that the Bank ‘keep rates on hold to deflate sterling, puts out gloomy economic predictions to get floppy #Brexit’.

Just a reminder that academic achievements by members of the current Monetary Policy Committee of the Bank, which votes on interest rates, include two Harvard economics PhDs, a Harvard economics BA, and an economics doctorate from LSE, while Diane James has a degree from Thames Valley University, formerly West London Poly.

Nigel Farage

If there’s one thing the nicotine-stained man-frog hates more than Tory politicians trying to distance themselves from an imploding Brexit, it’s Republican politicians trying to distance themselves from an imploding President Trump. Farage told Fox News that in-fighting ‘may entertain the liberal élite living in Washington but actually out there, in real America, it just makes support for Trump even stronger’.

In fact, as Farage must have known, The Donald’s current approval rating hit a record low of 38% last week. Even Kellyanne ‘alternative facts’ Conway has conceded that ‘his approval rating among Republicans, conservatives and Trump voters is down slightly. It needs to go up’.

David Kurten

The UKIP leadership contender’s slogan is ‘Courage, Excellence, Freedom’ – a real disappointment to those of us who were hoping for the apt ‘Kurten’s For UKIP’. The London Assembly member kicked off his campaign by accusing the Tories of ‘pushing gender queer theory on primary schools and declaring a party under his leadership would be ‘standing against the militant transgender activism that’s happening at the moment’.

Naturally, since both these things aren’t actually happening at all, he has won the support of referendum dissemblers Leave.EU.

Michael Gove

The then-Justice Secretary told the electorate in April 2016 that the EU’s common fisheries policy had sent his father’s business ‘to the wall’ and that post-Brexit ‘we will take back control of our territorial waters’. Only a fortnight ago he assured Andrew Marr that ‘when we leave the EU we’ll become an independent coastal state and that means we can then extend control over our waters to 200 miles’.

Gove is in prime position to deliver on this as Environment Secretary. Instead he told a group of Danish fishermen that foreign boats would still be allowed to catch ‘large amounts’ in British waters after 2019 as the UK ‘does not have the capacity to catch and process all the fish’.

Andrew Pierce

The Daily Mail columnist and Sky News pundit reacted with horror to Neymar’s record transfer to PSG, tweeting, ‘Britain gives £80m aid to Brazil which breaks football transfer record by selling player 4 £198m. Something wrong here’. Well, plenty wrong actually Andrew. But then the country is probably sick of football experts as well as all the other experts.

Peter Lilley

The Mikado-ruining former social security secretary assured Telegraph readers than Britain would negotiate a post-Brexit trade deal with the EU in less than half an hour. Lilley wrote: ‘The EU and UK start with zero tariffs on each others’ goods and identical rules. Any free trade deal would end with zero tariffs and minimal changes to the rules. Zero tariffs to zero tariffs cannot take more than 10 minutes to agree and unchanged rules not much longer.’

Of course, the EU27 are bound to agree to all this – and to drop any demands for free movement of people and/or budget contributions – because they are so taken with us Brits and our satirical interpretations of Gilbert & Sullivan classics. Sometimes you wonder what colour the sky is on Planet Brexit…

Arron Banks

Leave.EU’s main backer reacted to reports of Amber Rudd’s secret meeting with Ruth Davidson by tweeting ‘couple of oil paintings… not’. Banks later doubled down by telling his followers, ‘I have no issue with lesbians, particularly the pretty ones!’

A joke the writers of On The Buses would have rejected as demeaning and unfunny back in 1971 but a right giggle to the self-styled ‘Bad Boy of Brexit’ – so-called because ‘Pig Shit-Thick Sexist of Brexit’ didn’t have enough Bs in it.

Welsh ‘Kippers

Just 19 UKIP members turned up to the party’s leadership election hustings in Newport, nearly being outnumbered by the 11 contenders to replace three-time Grand National winner Paul Nuttall.

Welsh Assembly member David Rowlands explained that the poor turnout was down to fatigue with politics, which explains why Jeremy Corbyn struggles to draw a crowd these days…

Anne-Marie Waters

One of only four possible candidates to turn up to the Newport hustings, the woman dubbed ‘UKIP’s Joan of Arc’ began her opening statement with ‘I am not an extremist. I have never been an extremist and neither are the people, most of the people, I have worked with.’

Anne-Marie Waters has described Islam as ‘evil’ and a ‘killing machine’, and has worked with former EDL leader Tommy Robinson. QED.

The Late Princess Diana

Asserted her support for Brexit from beyond the grave in an interview with ‘psychic healer’ Simone Simmons. Ms Simmons told MailOnline: ‘I know a lot of people aren’t going to like it but she said we’ve got to vote for Brexit. Britain was great, economically and production wise and before we joined the EU. She was interested in the referendum and suggested I vote to leave because Britain was really great before the EU.’

Oddly, this tremendous scoop was the most believable thing the Mail have published about Brexit for ages…

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