Pamela Anderson has put her support behind Jeremy Corbyn, Ozzy Osbourne is clued up on Brexit and John Mann leaves us wondering how Anna Soubry would fare in the jungle.
In her 2004 novel Star, a thinly-disguised autobiography, the only man Pamela Anderson’s surrogate character Star really loves is a wise old grandpa, Papa Jens.
‘His mercurial intelligence and metaphysical sensibilities had been unexpectedly grounding for a young girl rooted in such sandy soil,’ she writes. Later, kindly Jens tells Star, ‘Life is but a dream. All life asks of you is that you let your light shine. Don’t hurt yourself or anyone else, and embrace all that life has to offer you. The rest will unfold, don’t you worry.’
Fourteen years on from dreamily eulogising a sexagenarian given to spouting airy platitudes, it should be no surprise that the former Baywatch actor has come out as a keen supporter of Labour’s leader.
‘OK, I admit it, I have a little political crush on Jeremy Corbyn,’ she wrote in a blog post on December 8. ‘He is a politician whose integrity I absolutely and unconditionally admire.’
Anderson has always been a pioneer unafraid of ridicule – think the white string bikini she wore to her wedding to Kid Rock, the 20-foot mural of heaven and hell she had painted in the elevator shaft of the mansion she shared with Tommy Lee, or even her friendship with embassy cupboard-dweller Julian Assange.
But surely nothing in the wild, wild life of Pammy is wilder than her assertion that Corbyn is doing a good job over Brexit.
‘I have been following the situation very closely and I fully support the position of Jeremy Corbyn,’ she wrote. ‘The supporters of the EU claim that its main benefit is the free movement of people. They are totally blind to the phenomenon called social dumping.
‘Failing neoliberalism is unable to address the staggering inequalities between the rich and the poor and the resulting frustration and so it resorts to right-wing party tactics and their scapegoats… So all in all, I find the UK referendum on leaving the EU to be a brave move.’
For those who have not been following Anderson’s recent career, reading her making the case for Lexit might be as shocking as the fact that her 1991 film Barb Wire, which begins with two minutes of the former Playboy model writhing in a low-cut leather dress while water is sprayed over her chest, is a remake of the low-key classic wartime romantic drama Casablanca.
But Anderson has never been the dumb blonde she was once happy to play (‘it’s great to be a blonde, with low expectations it’s very easy to surprise people,’ she once said). The last few months have seen her supporting Yanis Varoufakis, animal rights activists (‘people who wear fur smell like a wet dog if they’re in the rain, and they look fat and gross,’ she explained) and the gilets jaunes.
Now she has articulated Jeremy Corbyn’s position on Brexit better than Corbyn ever has – because, you’ll remember, Corbyn still has to pretend to be a Remainer. And soon, when all Theresa May’s delays are over, he might even have to take Britain out of the Brexit he and Pamela Anderson so admire.
If so, Papa Jez will join a long list of men who have let Pammy down. Tommy hit her and went to jail, Rick Salomon took nude photos of her and sent them to their driver. And Kid Rock? Anderson once said she left him after ‘I found out his real name was Bob’.
Articulate as ever, the Labour Brexiteer John Mann appeared alongside Anna Soubry on Good Morning Britain and criticised the idea of a People’s Vote ‘where the majority doesn’t even have the chance to vote for what they voted for before’. Mann then told host Piers Morgan to ‘do us a favour and stick her in the jungle’.
Which opens up the question: How would Soubry fare on I’m A Celebrity? Would Britain’s dwindling but still large band of Leavers vote her into Bushtucker Trial after Bushtucker Trial? Or would her reasoned approach win them over and finally accomplish what Nick Knowles said he wanted to do with his stint in the show – ‘heal a divided Britain’?
After being voted out, the DIY SOS host explained: ‘We’re having such a hard time in the UK at the minute and there’s such division in the UK. I thought if we could show in here we can get on, it might influence people back home.’
If you’ll believe that, you’ll believe anything. And Knowles does. The other highlight of his jungle stint was his insistence that the moon landings were faked because ‘the outside of the earth is the Van Allen belt which is massively radioactive and you would have to build a spacecraft out of lead in order to protect the astronauts’.
Ozzy Osbourne seems more clued-up about Brexit than many MPs. Asked for his views on the big issue by magazine The Big Issue, he replied: ‘People keep going on at me about that – is it a big deal over there? What will happen with it? Are people voting in or out, what’s going on?
‘I don’t read the newspapers and I don’t really talk politics because I don’t really know. I don’t really understand Brexit.’
How long before he is foreign secretary?