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Brexit success? What planet is Dominic Raab on?

Finally – a Visa-free aspect to Brexit. At least that’s what the deluded Dominic Raab is likely to tell you...

Dominic Raab leaving the foreign office. Photo: Tolga Akmen/AFP via Getty Images

It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain, where Dominic Raab again found himself in a minority of one after saying: “I’ve got total faith in a prime minister who successfully dealt with getting us through Brexit.”

In the real world inhabited by the other 68,379,032 of us, the B-word is responsible for new import duties on Christmas presents sent to the UK by relatives in Europe – little Johnny will have to pay the VAT on his Messi PSG shirt – as well as new fees just to enter EU countries under a scheme similar to the USA’s ESTA. British customers will no longer be able to use a Visa credit card to buy stuff on Amazon either; the card company has increased transaction rates now an EU cap no longer applies to us – and Amazon won’t pay the new fee.

In more examples of success, Raab-style, one major report has found that the government’s planning for a potential pandemic was hampered by taking “significant time and resources” away to work on a no-deal Brexit. Another is recommending the scrapping of the proposed £20billion “Boris bridge” between mainland Britain and Northern Ireland, hailed by Johnson as a reward for leaving the EU, because it’s unworkable and would run through an ammunition dump.

Tax cuts for freeports – another supposed Brexit benefit – are being watered down by Rishi Sunak, since someone has finally realised that they’ll simply drain tax-paying business away from parts of Britain rather than attracting the world to Harwich and Goole. And a new plan to make nice with Emmanuel Macron so we can avoid future fishing spats has kicked off with one of our side calling the French president a “prickly bugger” and France promising to “fight every day” to protect their fishermen.

Meanwhile, British pies could be banned from Europe if their ingredients don’t come from an “approved” source, while Beefeater restaurants are handing out menus of dishes you CAN’T order, from Big Dipper Burgers through Fired-Up Fries to the Flame-Grilled Combo, because of supply-line issues. Success, as far as the eye can see!

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