As the Conservative Party slips ever further in the polls – and despair at Kemi Badenoch’s leadership mounts – conversation naturally turns to who the party might choose once she is inevitably ousted.
Robert Jenrick is seen as the runaway favourite, but the party’s wiser heads fear he would prove just as hopeless in the job as Badenoch. He did, after all, just lose a leadership campaign to her – and when the Tories replaced Liz Truss with Rishi Sunak, who lost to her, it didn’t work out too well.
The party’s few remaining moderates believe that Penny Mordaunt still might be their standard-bearer if a seat could be found for the woman who lost Portsmouth North last July. They say she polls favourably even outside of the party’s faithful – having become a favourite of centrist dads everywhere after her role in the King’s coronation.
Mordaunt is such a threat that there is already nasty gossip about her. One story claims she only narrowly avoided a wardrobe malfunction for the ages, having burst out of her distinctive blue gown shortly before the big day, requiring a last-minute repair.
And the Tory rumour mill is also sniffy about Mordaunt’s generous act of selling said dress in a charity auction, alleging that her final charitable donation seems to be minus the initial cost of the £2,000 Roni dress by Safiyaa.
As a result, Tory hopes for a revival are instead pinned on hoping that Boris Johnson might be tempted to return after all – all is forgiven, at least on the blue benches. The minute a super-safe Tory seat comes up at a by-election, expect the comeback talk to start in earnest.
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