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The Blob – the Brexiteers’ new excuse for their fantasy’s every failure

Brexiteers won’t admit that their fantasies are in free-fall and they can no longer blame everything on the EU. So they’ve identified a new target

The Blob. Pic: YouTube

Every good revolution needs an enemy, hopefully one that can be portrayed as the real reason that is stopping the new regime from reaching its long-promised goals.

Such enemies are very useful, and Brexit supporters have created their own. It is called The Blob, named after the 1958 sci-fi classic that gave a first lead role to Steve McQueen.

In the original 1958 movie, McQueen is a small-town lad taking on an alien beast that emerges from a meteorite and devours the local population. In
real life, the name and the film have been hijacked by Brexit supporters to
represent something even more powerful and frightening.

Not a monster from outer space but, according to Brexiteers, the real
reason Brexit has yet to be a triumph.

The Blob in their world is an amorphous lump of Remainers, socialists, lawyers, Greens, the woke, traitors and saboteurs, who, although impossible to personally identify, are in some unexplained way stopping the country from enjoying all the benefits of Brexit.

The Blob is, however, not new. It has a long history and has frustrated the
ambitions of many a politician on both the left and right. It is apparently deeply embedded in the civil service and society, and it is the real ruler of Whitehall.

The Blob first became a political phenomenon in the 1980s when the then US secretary of education, William J Bennett, claimed that an uncontrollable “blob” of bureaucrats was devouring money that would be better spent in the classroom. His maths was highly suspect, but as an excuse for not getting what he wanted all the time, it was a brilliant idea. When things don’t work just claim the electorate is being frustrated, the elected government undermined, and the country held back by time-serving pen-pushers with gold-plated pensions and a hatred of new ideas.

It explains every politician’s failures perfectly.

The phrase was a natural for Michael Gove when he was education secretary, to try to explain his own frustrations at what he and his Spad saw as attempts by civil servants and the education establishment to frustrate their agenda. That Spad was Dominic Cummings, who went on to lead the successful Leave campaign and become Boris Johnson’s right-hand man.

The battle against The Blob had moved from an excuse for frustrated or incompetent politicians to a central plank of Brexit. But Brexit has added a new and intense meaning to The Blob, one that is dangerous and worrying.
Because The Blob, like all good aliens, has mutated; it is now the enemy of the people and must be destroyed.

The first sign that things were heading this way was during the Brexit referendum itself, when politicians thought it perfectly all right to lie through their teeth to get what they wanted. Vast sums of money, unlimited economic growth, cheap food, cheaper booze, lower energy prices, bonfires of red tape and all the rest were to be had for the asking. The EU was over a barrel, it needed us more than we needed it and if there were any small problems along the way, the German carmakers would ride to the rescue.

And when those in the know pointed out that this was all utter rubbish, up
popped Gove again with the immortal line: “I think the people of this country have had enough of experts.”

That is the precise moment when The Blob went from being a useful excuse for unsuccessful politicians to a real problem. That’s because while many departments and institutions may well be full of dusty Sir Humphreys with no interest in rocking the boat, you can normally – eventually – get things done if you win the arguments, come up with better policies and force them through.

What you can’t do – and can never do – is to make a success of forcing through policies that are damaging or stupid, which have no basis in reality and which every expert knows full well cannot work.

Nearly every promise made by the Leave campaign was either a lie or based on a fantasy. Many of Leave’s leaders no doubt believed then, and still believe, that they have seen the way to the Promised Land and that is where they are leading the country.

But the reality is rather different.

More red tape, more checks, worse regulation, fewer immigrants, less
cooperation, lower growth and less tax revenue all make things worse, not
better. All stifle opportunities, and “the experts” warned about them all time and time again. As the Public Accounts Committee put it “the only detectable impact so far is increased costs, paperwork and border delays.” A situation which the committee fully expects to get worse.

However, such cold, clear facts cannot withstand the acid test of Brexit “logic”: Brexit is a good thing from which only good things can come; if those have not yet arrived, it is because Brexit is being betrayed.

So, what can be done? There may be a few Brexit benefits, but the maths is
remorseless – there are far fewer benefits than costs. Doubtless, the full power of the government will be turned to publicising the minute gains to be had from badly negotiated trade deals and half-pint Champagne bottles, but it will not end there.

I know of not a single leading Brexit supporter who has changed their mind
and admitted they were wrong. Instead, they are doubling down. That means there must be something to blame for the failures the public sees around it, and that can never be Brexit, so it must be The Blob.

Just follow the logic and see where it leads:

• Brexit successes are too few, that must mean the civil service is Remain-ridden and treasonous. Surely it needs root-and-branch reform to drive out the unbelievers?

• The legal system refuses to let ministers tear up the law or break international treaties. How do we stop Supreme Court judges being Enemies of the People? Why not prevent them from “interfering” in politics and let ministers overrule them?

• Human rights legislation has gone too far and is holding the UK back. Only by leaving the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR) can we ever be free.

• The BBC never reports that Brexit is a triumph, it must be full of Remain fanatics. Surely, it must lose its funding?

• Fuel bills are soaring, not falling as promised. It must be the Greens and their climate-change lies that have forced up prices – it’s time to pump more oil and gas, not less.

• Business organisations begging for some common-sense policies have obviously been captured by Remainers. Let us ignore their lies and forge ahead regardless.

• Universities that teach EU law and analyse Brexit must report to the government about who teaches what.

Paranoid fears? Perhaps, but I have seen all these measures suggested in the last few months and many of them tried.

There is no end in sight to this, it all follows on naturally from the simple
shibboleth of Brexit. Remember! Brexit is a good thing from which only
good things can come.

If those good things have not yet arrived, it is because Brexit is being betrayed by The Blob – and therefore The Blob Must die.

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