It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain, although Brexiteers are still managing to keep their sense of humour intact.
“Fifty-three per cent would vote to rejoin the EU – shocking figures,” screamed one popular pro-Leave Twitter account this week, adding the immortal punchline, “Latest polling suggests Brexit good news is not getting through to voters.”
So what is the Brexit good news, then? The arrival of a whole nine new petrol-tanker drivers from the EU under a government scheme to ease the HGV crisis? The new hope that there might be enough turkeys to go around this Christmas, again after a government climbdown?
There’s not much to cheer, even if you’re lucky enough to be among the privileged few who have benefitted the most from our unequal society.
Harrods shoppers are worried about shortages of their famous hampers (stuck at Tilbury after import checks) and champagne shortages are predicted, while horseracing and show jumping are “being killed by Brexit,” according to the Telegraph, in a piece detailing the added costs and red tape faced by horse owners who want to try their luck on the continent. It’s written by Charlie Brooks, husband of Rebekah (the UK versions of Tom and Shiv from Succession, only less pleasant).
A lack of nannies caused by you-know-what (European au pairs now need pre-settled status to work in the UK) is causing shortages and bidding wars as parents seek a suitable foreigner good enough to look after little Poppy and Freddie. And when Pops and the Fredster grow up, their fun winters working as chalet girls and boys have been wrecked by Brexit too, with the hassle and cost of work permits for non-EU passport holders meaning young Brits are being overlooked.
Should we really feel sorry for the better-off as they deal with these first-world problems, inflicted by a Brexit many of them voted for? Of course. We’re all the same as we huddle together on the sunlit uplands, cursing the lies we were told and the liars who told them, hoping for a bit of light.