Mitch Benn
31 January 2024
The Conservatives know they’re going to lose. But they still have no idea why
The Tories’ delusion knows no bounds – their electoral annihilation will be blamed on everyone and everything other than themselves
Read the full article24 January 2024
Self-obsessed traitors in a stately old building.. we’ve seen it all before
The current iteration of the Conservative Party might well have grounds to sue The Traitors’ creators for plagiarism
Read the full article17 January 2024
Vote Conservative. Because NOTHING that goes wrong is EVER our fault
The Tories have denied responsibility for every scandal and disaster that has blighted their calamitous 14 years in power. So whose fault is it, exactly?
Read the full article10 January 2024
From Mr Bates vs the Post Office to Wallpapergate in the Cabinet Office
The story of the Post Office scandal has sparked a flurry of activity, so here are some more unresolved scandals that could be turned into TV dramas
Read the full article03 January 2024
After all the pundits’ predictions.. now for things that WON’T happen in 2024
Initially, I thought about attempting to predict the new year’s events. Then I realised that in the case of THIS new year, it simply isn’t possible
Read the full article20 December 2023
St Boris’s Primary presents: a Christmas Nativity play
Don't miss this festive season’s must-watch production...
Read the full article13 December 2023
Get ready for Nigella Farage as third-rater seeks another TV funwash
Having finished third on I’m a Celebrity, Nasty Nigel will no doubt be back on our screens with further cynical attempts to detoxify his public image
Read the full article06 December 2023
Our Christmas gift guide for the good, the bad and the ugly
What would you buy Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer for Christmas?
Read the full article29 November 2023
Orchestral manoeuvres in the dark arts of politics
Which bittersweet symphonies best sum up Britain’s political parties?
Read the full article22 November 2023
Who the hell ordered the regeneration of out-of-time Lord David Cameron?
His sudden and unexpected reappearance in Downing Street can mean only one thing: David Cameron IS Doctor Who
Read the full article15 November 2023
No peace for the wicked, as the Tories find it’s a long week in politics
Even by recent standards, it’s been quite a week for the Conservatives. Sunak actually grows a pair, Braverman is out (for now), and an old face is back in the cabinet
Read the full article08 November 2023
Think you’re not an extremist? Think again, those of you who mock Tory MPs
Cruella Braverman’s proposed new laws will make it illegal to even have mean thoughts about the Conservatives
Read the full article01 November 2023
Boris Johnson gets a show on GB News. It’s a match made in Hades
What might Boris Johnson name his new show? Here are a few ideas...
Read the full article18 October 2023
That glitter brought glamour to Keir Starmer... so break out the lasers and mirrorball
Glitter made his conference speech interesting. But, why should the Labour leader stop there?
Read the full article11 October 2023
The Tories are keeping it unreal as we enter a new age of Quantum Politics
If the party’s mind-boggling conference is anything to go by, the Conservatives’ flight from reality is complete
Read the full article02 October 2023
The Tories rave on in Madchester but no-one is listening
Plan your time at the Conservative Party conference with this handy guide...
Read the full article27 September 2023
Imagine all the people emptying seven bins.. it isn’t hard to do if you’re Sunak
Here are some more imaginary policies the prime minister could scrap...
Read the full article20 September 2023
Only extra-terrestrials can turn the next election into a close encounter
Rishi Sunak appears confident that the Conservatives will win the next election. What other bizarre circumstances does the PM envision arising?
Read the full article13 September 2023
The Shapps of things to come: what new job could Grant be handed next?
The new defence secretary’s extraordinary adaptability means he could have even more roles to play in Sunak’s ailing government...
Read the full article06 September 2023
Our schoolchildren must get used to hard sums, hard exams and hard hats
Parents all across the country will be bursting with pride as they wave their children off to school with their new uniforms, stationery and industrial safety equipment
Read the full article30 August 2023
These are a few of my favourite things that forgetful Rishi could get away with
As Rishi Sunak’s recent breach of the ministerial code seems to have gone unnoticed, I speculate on what the “prime miniature” may forget to declare next...
Read the full article23 August 2023
Don’t worry, be happy: here are your new human rights after Toryfication
What to expect when the Conservatives embark on the next stage of their mission to turn the UK into a totalitarian, one-party police state
Read the full article22 August 2023
Stefania Licari, the medic turned comic
Her live show, Medico, offers laughter as a medicine for life's troubles and has taken the Edinburgh Fringe Festival by storm
Read the full article16 August 2023
This TV reboot will make you long for the day when Suella’s ship has sailed
While I’m up in that little bubble universe that is Edinburgh during the Festival Fringe (Underbelly, Bristo Square every day at 4pm, thanks for asking), I’ve come up with this rather pleasing little sitcom parody. Hope it – hey! – floats your boat…
Read the full article02 August 2023
Rishi Sunak’s desperate ploy to woo drivers is car-crash politics
The prime minister is on a mission to win over motorists. What else does he have up his sleeve?
Read the full article26 July 2023
Elon Musk’s latest ‘brainwave’ shows why he completely lacks the X-factor
The owner of Twitter has taken one of the world’s most instantly recognisable brand names and replaced it with something utterly meaningless
Read the full article19 July 2023
As excuses go, ‘I forgot my PIN’ is akin to ‘the dog ate my homework’
Boris Johnson’s explanation as to why he failed to hand over his phone to the Covid inquiry is another example of how ‘forgetful’ he is...
Read the full article12 July 2023
The Tories finally deliver on a promise – making Britain a hostile environment
In an attempt to deter migrants, the government’s mission is to turn the country into an unwelcoming, collapsing, dystopian hellscape. Oh, wait...
Read the full article05 July 2023
Vladimir Putin: A desperate man calls for desperate measures
Putin’s previously ironclad reputation has sustained serious damage in recent times – how can he regain his mojo?
Read the full article21 June 2023
Bard for life: The tragedy of Boris the First (or The Comedy of Errors)
Does self-styled Shakesperean hero Boris Johnson’s new vocation as a Daily Mail columnist suggest misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows...?
Read the full article14 June 2023
He’s finally been flushed away – but will Johnson bob back to the surface?
The disgraced former PM has crawled away to lick his wounds, but he’ll already be plotting ways to inveigle his way back into the public eye...
Read the full article07 June 2023
“The dog ate my WhatsApp messages”, and other digital-age excuses
If the government's cunning plan fails, here are some more ways to deceive the Covid inquiry
Read the full article